My New Normal

I have changed the name of my blog. You have probably already realized that. All of my stories and posts are still here. You can still click the button to the right, to read Connor's story. The reason I started writing. 

I just never really liked the blog name "Live, Laugh, Read". I had to name the blog, to be able to start writing. I had no clue what I wanted to name it at the time. I just wanted to write. I threw something in the text box. I thought "Who cares? I will mostly be writing to myself anyway." Turns out, I cared. Every time I wrote a post, there was that blog title staring at me. I had to fix it. 


After you lose someone. Anyone. Anything you read will make mention of the "new normal". This is the reality that you have to go on, even though something drastic has happened. You may feel a part of you missing every single second, but you have to function. You have to live. It isn't even conscious anymore. I just feel Connor missing at all times. Not actively. The feeling is just there. It is hard to explain, unless you've been there. If you haven't been there, I don't want you to ever be familiar with this feeling. 

I don't know if I was ever really "normal." I don't know that anyone would have called me that, if they were made to describe me in one word. However, I was my normal. As the quote above indicates, each person has their own normal. 

Now I believe, each person has multiple "normals" they will settle into throughout their lives. Each time a new normal appears, through life, death, or a big life event, it is completely unsettling. At first, you don't feel like you will ever be "you" again. 

I promise. There is a new normal around the bend, no matter what has unsettled your "old" normal. It seems inconceivable, but it just happens. There isn't even a need to actively seek it. As life continues, because it always does, the new normal settles in around you, just like a new pair of jeans maybe. It isn't quite comfortable in the beginning, but starts to wear better after a bit. Using the same analogy, there are definitely times when that discomfort sneaks back in and things don't feel right again for a bit. Don't worry. It takes time. 

I really like the new title of my blog. I am not completely settled into my new normal. I'm still trying to break it in. However, I know it is here, creeping around me. Slowly, I am pushing through the old into the new. I can't promise that the sadness will ever completely go away. I just know the "bad" days are already fewer and further between. 

Join me, as I keep settling into "My New Normal."