tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41084308475466933572024-03-13T10:05:01.776-05:00My New NormalAll about trying to find my place in my "new normal". Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger136125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-88136027794109013902015-03-07T13:04:00.002-06:002015-03-07T13:04:31.029-06:00Happy 2nd Birthday, Connor! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf6mG7wL_6pX36KwEEVfhgJvmLtnAHfURxuF_NYPTv7SNbD1jvaaUjLCwIoKyr-0UffloOe6xvxxugdGQkDhFNxLKoLddLg3Bik60K6Q815vK7PvMssLvTsom8XB-7tv_FfI8ralxE_AOn/s1600/2015-03-07+11.28.06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf6mG7wL_6pX36KwEEVfhgJvmLtnAHfURxuF_NYPTv7SNbD1jvaaUjLCwIoKyr-0UffloOe6xvxxugdGQkDhFNxLKoLddLg3Bik60K6Q815vK7PvMssLvTsom8XB-7tv_FfI8ralxE_AOn/s1600/2015-03-07+11.28.06.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-72300268151028683262015-01-17T11:01:00.000-06:002015-01-17T11:01:22.152-06:00It's a girl! <span style="font-size: large;">It has been a while since my last blog post. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The last one was in early October. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I could say that life has been busy. That I just haven't had time to get on here to post any updates. The truth is that in October we got big news. News that our family will be growing. While this news is fabulous, long waited for news, there are mixed feelings when you have a past like mine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't get me wrong, there is joy. Endless joy. I couldn't be more excited about this little one coming. However, within the cracks of that joy many things peek through. Fear. Anxiety. Worry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have worked on staying positive since we found out that we are expecting a baby in June. Keeping those scary thoughts away is at times a full time job. They always lurk under the surface ready to pop up when least expected. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We have been as cautious as can be. There have been extra ultrasounds, specialists, genetic tests, and just a ton of general caution against any "dangers". Everything has gone fantastic. There have been no indicators of any issues to come. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Most recently, there was an ultrasound with a high risk specialist. As she sat there telling me a few times "Everything is going to be fine. She looks great!", I of course felt reassurance. However, what creeps along with that is "How can you be so certain?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As I get further along, and other pregnant women's minds have moved on from any big fears, my fears pop up more and more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't allow these thoughts to stay long. They are not welcome visitors in my mind. They intrude and are rude, and then are shown the door promptly. As I know, they don't help anything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As we move forward I know that we have an incredible amount of family, friends, and medical professionals on our side. I know that hundreds of prayers are sent up daily just for this little girl. I truly appreciate every single one of them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you to everyone who has shown support so far. The amount has been overwhelming and amazing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-41725406513297061472014-10-04T13:41:00.003-05:002014-10-04T13:41:17.008-05:00Share Walk 2014<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today was a very special day for me. It was one of those mornings when I got to stop everything for a few hours and simply honor Connor. I posted about the Share Walk last year. Here are some pictures from this years walk. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am lucky enough to help organize and set up the walk each year. It is truly a fabulous experience. I feel like I am being productive in Connor's name. It gives me a way to physically honor him, helping to arrange this special day for so many families. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLG4lu1e0jzgPsotREAGhsgZMJ9LvnlphysI-VkI_mTlA4Up89vRXtgaF6MFzoP0eCsersp8Nme5jzSPQBAfPrjKc7XKeJ0DJT7XRG4xcIlZq0inEjxxKMR6XD_MSjCyIZvfwe7hVTewYn/s1600/2014-10-04+13.20.02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLG4lu1e0jzgPsotREAGhsgZMJ9LvnlphysI-VkI_mTlA4Up89vRXtgaF6MFzoP0eCsersp8Nme5jzSPQBAfPrjKc7XKeJ0DJT7XRG4xcIlZq0inEjxxKMR6XD_MSjCyIZvfwe7hVTewYn/s1600/2014-10-04+13.20.02.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">There is a banner each year. Families may write a message. This banner is then used to lead the walk. They are used as decoration in the following years. This was only my second year, but I already enjoyed going back and looking at messages to/about Connor from last years banner. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We have a balloon release. While I know it isn't the best for the environment, isn't it special and beautiful? </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7GYcw1ouz88PL2Ty9uTot0iPhPf2m8iwECjld1Xu7FtA0gySwm5cymILqhADMHSj0xZVGKnd95klPxlz9D0DqPCYf6_H1u9sdrL1KVxAOepJJ6LZs9MGt-PgoXMjX5sfTH8BbtXFthYlc/s1600/2014-10-04+13.15.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7GYcw1ouz88PL2Ty9uTot0iPhPf2m8iwECjld1Xu7FtA0gySwm5cymILqhADMHSj0xZVGKnd95klPxlz9D0DqPCYf6_H1u9sdrL1KVxAOepJJ6LZs9MGt-PgoXMjX5sfTH8BbtXFthYlc/s1600/2014-10-04+13.15.58.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> I have featured the Angel of Hope on my blog a few times. The walk ends at the Angel, where we read "We Remember" and left carnations on the Angel. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpEbaJpxyCS3_DR-xAOto45PkCACEgZm58bsUroSo7t9K-RGkaoBCWJ2E9hg8KjCAxWjKEtbAe9Zxdd99hm1CEUQiIypVZQejA8n-17jnELOBQwWxtO2yuJQCjf5RmQNCzmXilE7Jukfu/s1600/2014-10-04+13.22.15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpEbaJpxyCS3_DR-xAOto45PkCACEgZm58bsUroSo7t9K-RGkaoBCWJ2E9hg8KjCAxWjKEtbAe9Zxdd99hm1CEUQiIypVZQejA8n-17jnELOBQwWxtO2yuJQCjf5RmQNCzmXilE7Jukfu/s1600/2014-10-04+13.22.15.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Seriously, though. The absolutely best part of the day is just the pure feeling of love and support. I felt completely wrapped in it throughout the whole special morning. Thank you to everyone who came to support the walk and/or sent me messages throughout the morning. I am so fortunate to have so many supportive people in my life. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihzmofmE4Zo-pmteLzmfZi0k-8aF4mrhAp-nMa4BEJba55RZotmeZfrO1V9ONZgyzclHfM6kjDcTOTaIhCqGbw39q33ZX6pPk9Pk113C1umjSZOFAb6Pew7At7qHk-CMuGs8NCd_unlws8/s1600/2014-10-04+13.25.19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihzmofmE4Zo-pmteLzmfZi0k-8aF4mrhAp-nMa4BEJba55RZotmeZfrO1V9ONZgyzclHfM6kjDcTOTaIhCqGbw39q33ZX6pPk9Pk113C1umjSZOFAb6Pew7At7qHk-CMuGs8NCd_unlws8/s1600/2014-10-04+13.25.19.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-21283277170855779312014-08-15T20:51:00.000-05:002014-08-15T20:51:33.693-05:00Insta Friday <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It's late and I've had some wine, but I don't want to not post this week's Insta Friday! It has been a very quick, extremely busy week!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK34U4gVPWx6jaMd1pEBbbXrDlFuzV2jKCzm08hYPqHcCfTkLNSJ9h_IThrbGHjZsLfp7vO-FnvyR7gs7f6nJd2jxtCwCeK0nK2uaecFWuibLf9EIX2KuMVSr63lvL7R1N0wjm0QC0aA6H/s1600/2014-08-08+09.11.09-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK34U4gVPWx6jaMd1pEBbbXrDlFuzV2jKCzm08hYPqHcCfTkLNSJ9h_IThrbGHjZsLfp7vO-FnvyR7gs7f6nJd2jxtCwCeK0nK2uaecFWuibLf9EIX2KuMVSr63lvL7R1N0wjm0QC0aA6H/s1600/2014-08-08+09.11.09-1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Last Friday was my last day with the girl I've been babysitting this summer. To end it with a bang we went to The Butterfly House. I highly recommend it if you haven't been there. Located in St. Louis, it has an amazing display of butterflies. The volunteer there said they ship in 500 a week, due to the short life span. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mike surprised me with tickets to an awesome event, also in St. Louis. It was called Nova Nights. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We got to lay on the floor of the planetarium, see a star show, and watch an old Sci Fi movie projected on the planetarium!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> If you looked around the movie, you could still see the stars.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> I loved it! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My latest obsession.. fruit and yogurt smoothies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I really like making these for breakfast. With the blender system I have, I can prep everything the night before and have the cup (with a cover) ready to go in the fridge. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZeDLFsrUYMF8uGLZ2onYf6tVNsymxGN_aWa-MoSvd3RB5MWi1Vq9ITi6NIErInr8jeyAOAQ_B8fIaQopbx_8D4fqhvU64uAwmo4iAJ9Rczak_Tj79ntr0Uni7ntz_PaXRf_0BefLwrMgn/s1600/2014-08-11+09.14.28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZeDLFsrUYMF8uGLZ2onYf6tVNsymxGN_aWa-MoSvd3RB5MWi1Vq9ITi6NIErInr8jeyAOAQ_B8fIaQopbx_8D4fqhvU64uAwmo4iAJ9Rczak_Tj79ntr0Uni7ntz_PaXRf_0BefLwrMgn/s1600/2014-08-11+09.14.28.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sunday morning calls for a special breakfast!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Blueberry pancakes made with fresh blueberries (another current fave) and strawberries. I choose to sprinkle a little powdered sugar on mine and leave the syrup behind.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7H39u8a2gDNgJcmWslJkSnWGamXyXdmAbOHsLzuzPPsXrxCfddu8DJc7yLaaOsu-l-HyT6DuLQGp1ERasU3YoyNgo3SfahWxD-KMxT3AjxGYSBzwRHLjAtTJ0dUBbnslnPvCLtZDqZKSk/s1600/2014-08-11+20.50.49.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7H39u8a2gDNgJcmWslJkSnWGamXyXdmAbOHsLzuzPPsXrxCfddu8DJc7yLaaOsu-l-HyT6DuLQGp1ERasU3YoyNgo3SfahWxD-KMxT3AjxGYSBzwRHLjAtTJ0dUBbnslnPvCLtZDqZKSk/s1600/2014-08-11+20.50.49.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">More Jamberry! I swear I don't sell them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I just love them! I have been saving this for the first week of school. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">They are a dark sparkly blue, which happens to be a school color where I work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Well, blue.. we don't include the sparkles, but maybe we should!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYue2vRGjXeQMd_mdaTmPCDff1rR_aCTKBmG3ekksN8iHdIRZNHPi5u0-S4o54XBAa3PaZtmWU1UvLDP23uPerV2ovhyphenhyphenU4yRMkCPGc5uLKTS7ItYSOfrPWHgO7I6YkzeAQC19K3ThdP8i9/s1600/2014-08-13+12.19.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYue2vRGjXeQMd_mdaTmPCDff1rR_aCTKBmG3ekksN8iHdIRZNHPi5u0-S4o54XBAa3PaZtmWU1UvLDP23uPerV2ovhyphenhyphenU4yRMkCPGc5uLKTS7ItYSOfrPWHgO7I6YkzeAQC19K3ThdP8i9/s1600/2014-08-13+12.19.18.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Speaking of going back to school!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I started a new position at the same school this year. I am going to deeply miss the team I used to directly work with on a daily basis! The teacher I now work with had the lovely surprise of these flowers waiting for me on the first day. I absolutely love all of the people I work with at this school. Everyone is incredibly sweet and supportive. I appreciate this fact every single day. </span></div>
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<a href="http://liferearranged.com/" style="font-size: x-large; text-align: start;"><img alt="life rearranged" border="0" src="http://liferearranged.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/instafridaybutton.jpg" height="120" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-80560432353270331552014-08-10T08:00:00.000-05:002014-08-10T08:00:03.205-05:00Pinterest Philosopher <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">A dear friend recently posted this quote on his business page. You see, he is in the business of grief. He owns a funeral home. I don't know how he deals with it. I don't know how he walks into that business every day knowing he is facing people in the worst times of their lives. He is meant to do it. He is good at it. He is there to comfort, and to say the right things at the right times. I know, because he has been there through my own grief. I will be forever grateful for him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This quote meant a lot to me, because it seemed just perfect to describe how I feel. I am a "rememberer." I am the one on this earth who is made to remember Connor. He was a part of me. Who else could remember him better? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I feel though that sometimes people confuse remembering with obsessing or not "moving on". I hate that phrase moving on by the way. I feel like it was invented to make the grieving feel guilty. Doesn't it just sound awful to "move on"? You can, however, move on and not forget. You can still mention your loved one and be "moving on". </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I feel like I am in a good place. I am in a better place than I ever imagined I could be just 15 months ago. I felt like I could never breath normally again back then. Now, I go weeks without crying. I still remember. I still speak his name. That will never stop. He is and always will be my first born son. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It just isn't the same. Remembering and being stuck in grief. Please don't assume that just because I mention him or seem down on some days, just because I share articles or speak about breaking the silence "still", that I am stuck in my grief. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am growing daily, within this grief that will always be with me. </span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-65978987495195220572014-08-09T13:37:00.001-05:002014-08-09T13:37:19.269-05:00I'll miss you, summer! <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I'm mixing it up this week and doing my writer's workshop on Saturday. I have just had a crazy busy week! I was gone every evening. I'm glad to find some time to write a post today and relax. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I can't say that summer is my favorite season. I prefer the weather of spring. I need the cool breeze. I don't like getting hot and sweaty right after I took a shower. My super pale skin does not appreciate the sun glaring down on it. Even when greased down with sunscreen, I always end up red. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This summer has been the best one in a while though! The weather has been fabulous most of the time and I had a great summer job. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here are six things I will miss about summer: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">1. Swimming</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My summer job involved swimming a lot. I absolutely love the water. I grew up with a pool and feel really relaxed while in water. I can of course still go swimming on the weekends sometimes, but the pool won't be as easily accessible or convenient. Also, weekends seem to be so busy already! </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin585pR2uaxOA-OEwp1TUywF6xRU2DYmgQ3KSWDE6A7gUmazRU0a-e9zUg68kXNMgaRv9uVgtQ7Auac6IICfNOBnEZddzLygYqFRYvVsHBu-lqtgX0RAHvgKG6x-GmBm62u23rDCFrksEn/s1600/2014-07-27+14.20.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin585pR2uaxOA-OEwp1TUywF6xRU2DYmgQ3KSWDE6A7gUmazRU0a-e9zUg68kXNMgaRv9uVgtQ7Auac6IICfNOBnEZddzLygYqFRYvVsHBu-lqtgX0RAHvgKG6x-GmBm62u23rDCFrksEn/s1600/2014-07-27+14.20.58.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">2. Sleeping in</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I didn't have to be at my summer job until 9 am. That means I was able to sleep until almost 8! This has really spoiled me. I know I will get into a routine again, getting up at 6 am. Yuck! After a few weeks, I'll be back to being unable to sleep in at all. My body gets used to the 6 am wake up time and even on weekends I'm up at 7:30-8 at the very latest. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">3. Staying up later </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This goes hand and hand with sleeping in, unfortunately. I need at minimum 7 hours of sleep or I'm cranky! I really like staying up later. However, that goes away when I know that alarm is set. I also take a really long time to fall asleep. During the school year, I find myself in bed around 9 at the latest just so I can fall asleep at a reasonable time. It makes me feel like I don't have any free time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">4. Seeing movies </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Again, of course we will go see movies on evenings or weekends. I'm less likely to watch a movie during the week though, if I know I need to get to bed so I can wake up. Also, during the summer every Wednesday morning we went to the movies. Did I mention that my summer job spoiled me? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">5. Exploring St. Louis </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I did a lot of fun stuff in St. Louis this summer! It doesn't seem like there is time to plan days even on the weekends. It gets very rare that we spend the day out and exploring during the school year. Maybe we can make more time to do that this year. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhabPn4QV0QqxkmEUk5wRv6CuSsNB0XX-UGPmHhSpGFTJoA2qwUEPD6m8wWlbZMI7Y_e7AvELdMl3XvObtqZ1EWKgUCzDCTcMuHd0tGDZWdM6VbcfdgYAvbEgpTyq8ytunO2rIF5nB-kiId/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhabPn4QV0QqxkmEUk5wRv6CuSsNB0XX-UGPmHhSpGFTJoA2qwUEPD6m8wWlbZMI7Y_e7AvELdMl3XvObtqZ1EWKgUCzDCTcMuHd0tGDZWdM6VbcfdgYAvbEgpTyq8ytunO2rIF5nB-kiId/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">6. Saving gas </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My "regular" job is about a thirty minute drive, and that uses up some gas. I do actually like the longer drive. I love having time to decompress after the day on my way home. I would love if gas prices would magically drop though. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Goodbye, summer. You will be missed! </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;" target="_blank"><img alt="Mama’s Losin’ It" src="http://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac331/mamakatslosinit/workshop-button-1.png" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-35405089190165718102014-08-08T20:28:00.002-05:002014-08-08T20:29:30.505-05:00Insta Friday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It's that time again! Insta Friday.. what a busy week I've had!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHiz2OGSUxeqt7OhCKn1b3oWm1WXw1niuUBS3xc6iu0ZayKhgmF5iUwntmGu-79q_Rffrv2B-H23fa_bguthcvjcrMXgcDyEJK5P5dzMA8R8xJqep1AJ7z6EQLkMyZn7D8tzgqiW6b_vei/s1600/2014-08-03+12.16.36.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHiz2OGSUxeqt7OhCKn1b3oWm1WXw1niuUBS3xc6iu0ZayKhgmF5iUwntmGu-79q_Rffrv2B-H23fa_bguthcvjcrMXgcDyEJK5P5dzMA8R8xJqep1AJ7z6EQLkMyZn7D8tzgqiW6b_vei/s1600/2014-08-03+12.16.36.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">While visiting a friend a few hours away, we ate at this yummy restaurant!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBiLA7-lrDonYY_vllwjUWyPmbYHbsDH0w5pvKam6ogZs7Up_rDE-uUyUtQ2Eo8foEh8ZSkmUq3dcDlYxIwS9UPndsim0XXnwLS6W83_oTzWTkkw_YpubcsO9x2RkiutSILJjWFltswsQU/s1600/2014-08-03+13.04.08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBiLA7-lrDonYY_vllwjUWyPmbYHbsDH0w5pvKam6ogZs7Up_rDE-uUyUtQ2Eo8foEh8ZSkmUq3dcDlYxIwS9UPndsim0XXnwLS6W83_oTzWTkkw_YpubcsO9x2RkiutSILJjWFltswsQU/s1600/2014-08-03+13.04.08.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is her adorable little boy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I don't see him enough, so he grows what seems to be like years in the weeks I don't see him!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">He is now too busy for my picture nonsense.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHuNUWGGtGrBMOss8w1DjhJgvEBicJdOt3Ms5OoKMXUU1ppVIYnDpB1ia2hN_AQMLp2lfUaIytNr66DRhRoRcK70AjwfYnO88b4sUhjwR9UkCwo22etYoEARN0_5XLA1m2f5sAxfy3S30C/s1600/2014-08-07+08.36.04-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHuNUWGGtGrBMOss8w1DjhJgvEBicJdOt3Ms5OoKMXUU1ppVIYnDpB1ia2hN_AQMLp2lfUaIytNr66DRhRoRcK70AjwfYnO88b4sUhjwR9UkCwo22etYoEARN0_5XLA1m2f5sAxfy3S30C/s1600/2014-08-07+08.36.04-2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I spent my summer with this awesome girl. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am so sad that summer is coming to an end and will miss her!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEy8rislNSPzMRH7I1pMNwl7TZGCRbWHCmNhIEJTugd2CnzWsreNQobGMP0KKvjqrYin8aszIHmL9gep1FmJNcGHA1SWOdWoetIQgaFptgNIFZ7uPdVduwtmoSS5TqCmHHqH64sTILK1Bd/s1600/2014-08-07+16.05.02-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEy8rislNSPzMRH7I1pMNwl7TZGCRbWHCmNhIEJTugd2CnzWsreNQobGMP0KKvjqrYin8aszIHmL9gep1FmJNcGHA1SWOdWoetIQgaFptgNIFZ7uPdVduwtmoSS5TqCmHHqH64sTILK1Bd/s1600/2014-08-07+16.05.02-2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This was a summer project.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">She was so patient with my learning to french braid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I couldn't quite get my transition into the rest, but I think it looks pretty good!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoswLKtXL_0Zb_UKoCMoLH9zGXVDd7alLtCHD-KFnAi6zHDDwE8MkVlq5_rv3vfjrd5ErGzpVlwkW3wnMdVaQwMiW6UhW3jgs-NJXm7mROP1NY9kUuVFB6AUZQAeCoaTfY-dUqoaTzYWOK/s1600/2014-08-07+19.14.41-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoswLKtXL_0Zb_UKoCMoLH9zGXVDd7alLtCHD-KFnAi6zHDDwE8MkVlq5_rv3vfjrd5ErGzpVlwkW3wnMdVaQwMiW6UhW3jgs-NJXm7mROP1NY9kUuVFB6AUZQAeCoaTfY-dUqoaTzYWOK/s1600/2014-08-07+19.14.41-2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mm.. Dewey's is my favorite pizza.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This particular night was with some fabulous people as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">You just can't beat good food and good people in the same place!</span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-80725269939155583842014-08-04T20:17:00.001-05:002014-08-04T20:17:33.262-05:00Currently... <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is a post that I did last July and fully intended on repeating it more often than over a year later! Here are some things that are going on in my life currently... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Reading:</b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> I am reading a book that I love right now! The best is it is a sequel. That means I found a new author that I really enjoy! I believe it is part of a new series based around a main character, Brenna Spector. The author is Alison Gaylin. The first book I read was "And She Was." I read it for book club. The current book is "Into the Dark." These are both crime mysteries. The main character has a condition that causes her to have basically a photographic memory, but it is really much more than that. I highly recommend checking out this series and/or author. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Listening to: </b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">My radio tastes go in cycles. Last time I did "Currently", I was really into public radio. Right now, I have been mostly listening to country music. I do enjoy listening to talk radio in the morning. I just don't feel ready for music right when I wake up. </span><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></b><br /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Feeling thankful: </b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> I truly feel thankful for how many very caring and supportive people I am surrounded with in my life. I have many people I can reach out to if I am having a bad day. It is a real blessing to know that I have so many people who care about me. I hope that I give that feeling of caring back to them. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Thinking about:</b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> I have been thinking about completely reorganizing our kitchen. I'm talking taking everything out of the cabinets and then putting them back in different spots. I have never readjusted things since we moved in. I feel like things could be in more functional places. I have been saying that I'm going to do this since last weekend. I need to get on it! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Eating: </b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Lots of fruits and veggies! Summertime is perfect for getting delicious fruits and veggies anywhere! It is my goal to get to a really big farmer's market that is nearby soon. I have been wanting to go there for years, but have never actually planned and went. I have been making tons of veggie heavy recipes and snacking on lots of sweet fruit. </span><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><br /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Watching: </b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">On my own- I've been watching Secret Life of an American Teenager... or something like that. The title is way too long! It is on Netflix and it is an easy watch to have on in the background. Super cheesy acting! It is almost just so bad that I can't stop watching. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">With Mike - We have been watching the second season of Orange is the New Black. We just finished getting caught up with Game of Thrones. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I can't wait for Walking Dead to come back on though! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br style="background-color: white;" /></span><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Bummed out on: </b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">I'm really bummed that the summer is ending! I have been hanging out with an awesome girl this summer and watching her. I will still get to see her and her fantastic family throughout the school year, but I will miss seeing her every week!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> </span><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Loving: </b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">My new quilt! I have done another blog post about it. This quilt makes me so happy! The colors are cheerful and it is so soft. I love snuggling up with it and watching some television before bed. It is my favorite bedding I have ever owned! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-23075723267616112202014-08-03T20:51:00.001-05:002014-08-03T20:51:20.856-05:00Pinterest Philosopher <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://stylecaster.com/inspirational-quotes-pinterest/" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-76410757650059457702014-08-01T10:18:00.003-05:002014-08-01T10:18:45.679-05:00Insta Friday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I love spoiling Ella. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">While at Petco, I decided she "needed" to try a sampling of these puppy cookies. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyoVKPeDLt_POowA07oG2I8OAGOdbT6eQNrgmgfbAPHhqY5WI3n1pOjYm6cu_SgkRDtUqoWXpuH5ge1zCD_3bmn9FfbaXWn3n4WTTn3rxcRS-bFm-CeQhznGNe4o50LVA1r0DR6ZZ2QERv/s1600/blogger-image--1397950238.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyoVKPeDLt_POowA07oG2I8OAGOdbT6eQNrgmgfbAPHhqY5WI3n1pOjYm6cu_SgkRDtUqoWXpuH5ge1zCD_3bmn9FfbaXWn3n4WTTn3rxcRS-bFm-CeQhznGNe4o50LVA1r0DR6ZZ2QERv/s640/blogger-image--1397950238.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is my favorite grilled cheese. It is at a local bistro. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It has melty cheese and fresh tomato. Yum!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbgPrlaOr_bOpr2401QHd7MCyTUzftAGX3ekGImJCIr_Sn90u40BGRb_f5W2IvNS6AxfFvPqMcMVJo9RFUARQNlIUTnhFYZ_89YzOvxNT0f3alZxLX83ED-yI0P6Aba67uAcdwfkD7acoi/s640/blogger-image-1705122469.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-bSJLeomALog7H5eLqb5KJcecoHs_RceXPUkdcBwenVqB73Lboc7KOPNmNguPQRFPth8WpFfVZDiF4t_oHNCpzWSieB_EK40YYqvjHzFCUcL6RNHBYhlcv35HjEeMQm-OKx3h9sHQhbzJ/s640/blogger-image--296162012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-bSJLeomALog7H5eLqb5KJcecoHs_RceXPUkdcBwenVqB73Lboc7KOPNmNguPQRFPth8WpFfVZDiF4t_oHNCpzWSieB_EK40YYqvjHzFCUcL6RNHBYhlcv35HjEeMQm-OKx3h9sHQhbzJ/s640/blogger-image--296162012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyoVKPeDLt_POowA07oG2I8OAGOdbT6eQNrgmgfbAPHhqY5WI3n1pOjYm6cu_SgkRDtUqoWXpuH5ge1zCD_3bmn9FfbaXWn3n4WTTn3rxcRS-bFm-CeQhznGNe4o50LVA1r0DR6ZZ2QERv/s640/blogger-image--1397950238.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3GXkKDVUz70yYemawJWADLI_WKiIHdfGzrJsTfB18uQ_8nGa2PCU6JpVt3Jt_VSWexHC7cbdVpR6669N97e8PEM8OeWBsPqHPOGf703zcQlQfYhDJgoglOhSfygUtaynkLEUM1M7A-CY/s640/blogger-image-15174488.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3GXkKDVUz70yYemawJWADLI_WKiIHdfGzrJsTfB18uQ_8nGa2PCU6JpVt3Jt_VSWexHC7cbdVpR6669N97e8PEM8OeWBsPqHPOGf703zcQlQfYhDJgoglOhSfygUtaynkLEUM1M7A-CY/s640/blogger-image-15174488.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Yup! They were a success. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Usually, Ella will do anything for a treat.. including stand still. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">She would not stand still she was so excited to eat this treat! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLC2FGt31Gy4-4L_gaXKtYWNe1oDYdAiWWKDzUhvVi_8XS-ajbL3IhWBINhlmy7FCPW7PhgilAlC34bALzERs7WuV_BUWlUiIKUv7rxyoHnx8Ekt8y3tD0wZMoEz929CfPq5VN8DMm0S8u/s640/blogger-image--504691681.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLC2FGt31Gy4-4L_gaXKtYWNe1oDYdAiWWKDzUhvVi_8XS-ajbL3IhWBINhlmy7FCPW7PhgilAlC34bALzERs7WuV_BUWlUiIKUv7rxyoHnx8Ekt8y3tD0wZMoEz929CfPq5VN8DMm0S8u/s640/blogger-image--504691681.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Jamberry! Enough said. I love these and every print I've owned! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbgPrlaOr_bOpr2401QHd7MCyTUzftAGX3ekGImJCIr_Sn90u40BGRb_f5W2IvNS6AxfFvPqMcMVJo9RFUARQNlIUTnhFYZ_89YzOvxNT0f3alZxLX83ED-yI0P6Aba67uAcdwfkD7acoi/s1600/blogger-image-1705122469.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbgPrlaOr_bOpr2401QHd7MCyTUzftAGX3ekGImJCIr_Sn90u40BGRb_f5W2IvNS6AxfFvPqMcMVJo9RFUARQNlIUTnhFYZ_89YzOvxNT0f3alZxLX83ED-yI0P6Aba67uAcdwfkD7acoi/s640/blogger-image-1705122469.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have been taking a cooking class for the past few months. This month was ice cream themed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">That is homemade marshmallow, caramel, and hot fudge sauces. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">They were delicious! </span></div>
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<a href="http://liferearranged.com/" style="font-size: x-large; text-align: start;"><img alt="life rearranged" border="0" src="http://liferearranged.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/instafridaybutton.jpg" height="120" width="200" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-27058628886484109292014-07-27T09:00:00.000-05:002014-07-27T09:00:01.191-05:00Pinterest Philosopher <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Another oldie making a return. I will search for a quote on Pinterest each week and post it here. Sometimes I will add some writing with it. Sometimes I will just post the image. Either way, I enjoy these quote images. I hope you do too. </span><br />
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<a href="http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/inspire-others-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/inspire-others-4.jpg" height="640" width="425" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">No matter what you are going through. Don't forget to stop every once in a while and consciously turn on that light. </span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-25784973502478466162014-07-25T08:00:00.000-05:002014-07-26T17:50:09.056-05:00Insta Friday <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It has been nearly a year since I have participated in Insta Friday. I have still followed <a href="http://liferearranged.com/" target="_blank">Life Rearranged</a> on Facebook and the blog itself. I had lost touch with Instagram. I lately found my love for Instagram again, so I decided to jump back into Insta Friday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Here is my week in Instagram pictures: </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYr8sw-V5Ty2bCiWpi8Uv3VrUBzcbgqxSC5lJLE8PJds84iUEURad-9PmcJqGFYGv5fLqoPFdLmLC4qDMnhrjGcs3hW6aXRTdiGqz4OyxSqf_JsGE0qkLCtn4gG8o6KOW3GXb5BxYO44YS/s1600/1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYr8sw-V5Ty2bCiWpi8Uv3VrUBzcbgqxSC5lJLE8PJds84iUEURad-9PmcJqGFYGv5fLqoPFdLmLC4qDMnhrjGcs3hW6aXRTdiGqz4OyxSqf_JsGE0qkLCtn4gG8o6KOW3GXb5BxYO44YS/s1600/1.JPG" height="319" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The weather has been super nice off and on, which is very odd for this time of year. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">On this day, a picnic lunch completed the perfect view and weather.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZGMn9p7UznuNSosszcg43AHwdrQGXXfWOrwr8SNnlnmW315Qo40D26SvkX8GvCkZ4jB3NvWZwyu1EhJC3QvIFRtFRIdaIyHWXy6jisHE6tLXd_h0URsL3FMdCa3FOl4QLuqsZ1aOCsmEC/s1600/2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZGMn9p7UznuNSosszcg43AHwdrQGXXfWOrwr8SNnlnmW315Qo40D26SvkX8GvCkZ4jB3NvWZwyu1EhJC3QvIFRtFRIdaIyHWXy6jisHE6tLXd_h0URsL3FMdCa3FOl4QLuqsZ1aOCsmEC/s1600/2.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mike, my husband, likes to pretend we are still crazy super young people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">He surprised me with tickets to see a midnight movie at one of my favorite theaters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I fell asleep for about 5 minutes approximately 5 or more times.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQreFx_BpBY1s95SM8pnMQW6e10Wj9pXzIGTW56O6azJUMWUWKvmq9Rz3I_nSVCIYQ8O-B94ZxH0iRa8ypQs0LgxC0-oiwXwN6adL2nwqhOb9ANhNI-L5YtaR5lc6a3Vxi1BPwkE_Bgvwe/s1600/3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQreFx_BpBY1s95SM8pnMQW6e10Wj9pXzIGTW56O6azJUMWUWKvmq9Rz3I_nSVCIYQ8O-B94ZxH0iRa8ypQs0LgxC0-oiwXwN6adL2nwqhOb9ANhNI-L5YtaR5lc6a3Vxi1BPwkE_Bgvwe/s1600/3.JPG" height="316" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The following night was chilly enough for a fire in the fire pit. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUnYyrbDgiOHvi3xMm7buAxrWPpfwNzCFVp1RZS0X2WTWz6SlWvuHn1RESMnCA1M7ZpLgGGV_dUDMJOLBEmrPhf_8CbLH2X-o1rpcOZZoNIuvf87AYmSq5zI0H2Xe44g3ApXGoQxSUWpiG/s1600/2014-07-20+12.54.47.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUnYyrbDgiOHvi3xMm7buAxrWPpfwNzCFVp1RZS0X2WTWz6SlWvuHn1RESMnCA1M7ZpLgGGV_dUDMJOLBEmrPhf_8CbLH2X-o1rpcOZZoNIuvf87AYmSq5zI0H2Xe44g3ApXGoQxSUWpiG/s1600/2014-07-20+12.54.47.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Followed by a family day in the park Sunday.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It involved another picnic, reading, and playing.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixfa5JGukDnbOV6YtZ7V16nc9SyQV9TG-7EHv4EOWOkn6WPtoFJOAzszDzVUGjSIi-i03GRaKwwIbW1KwFdN4p4N6TACxZu-gY5W2Rz1lASiC1olmtm-2HPOB9-lbTfFdqS89JbEOZimM9/s1600/2014-07-22+10.29.59.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixfa5JGukDnbOV6YtZ7V16nc9SyQV9TG-7EHv4EOWOkn6WPtoFJOAzszDzVUGjSIi-i03GRaKwwIbW1KwFdN4p4N6TACxZu-gY5W2Rz1lASiC1olmtm-2HPOB9-lbTfFdqS89JbEOZimM9/s1600/2014-07-22+10.29.59.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Our local library had a book sale this week. $2 per bag. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I found these neat old cookbooks.I love old church/community cookbooks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I'm not sure if I will ever make anything out of them, but I just like the look of them.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp_YEjYrOFgm6C7rIMZf3ouPhv1VfKQc093yVv3_-ur7mncCRaDfK8oUtNRRktowEcrjM5EKTkyoO-TnZJGm0i0Iu8LmcDqnMvSGegv5OrijXU8ju4soX6FVFh9_C-ITCrP7UvbYkBfGpx/s1600/2014-07-24+12.20.47-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp_YEjYrOFgm6C7rIMZf3ouPhv1VfKQc093yVv3_-ur7mncCRaDfK8oUtNRRktowEcrjM5EKTkyoO-TnZJGm0i0Iu8LmcDqnMvSGegv5OrijXU8ju4soX6FVFh9_C-ITCrP7UvbYkBfGpx/s1600/2014-07-24+12.20.47-1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">A hike on a local trail through some woods. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZOpZRk8l1hqtAtB1U_gc2zb1D5Li_3ktDbwge3shrbSViZ-QBmw0bmSBQMH8vFV5S1Iy-NPQO3KKXhmLUSYqrOE1siPGa8G1sCYqRpLIZcezj5PJ49tsQ0-oTl-SCRBU-xy7cFJGFqKSV/s1600/2014-07-24+20.22.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZOpZRk8l1hqtAtB1U_gc2zb1D5Li_3ktDbwge3shrbSViZ-QBmw0bmSBQMH8vFV5S1Iy-NPQO3KKXhmLUSYqrOE1siPGa8G1sCYqRpLIZcezj5PJ49tsQ0-oTl-SCRBU-xy7cFJGFqKSV/s1600/2014-07-24+20.22.17.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is Ella's favorite position. She is constantly watching for a rabbit or squirrel. Sometimes, we let her out to chase them (they always escape). We always try to get them to move first, but they are stubborn. She gets too worked up just watching them.</span></div>
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<a href="http://liferearranged.com/" style="font-size: x-large; text-align: start;"><img alt="life rearranged" border="0" src="http://liferearranged.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/instafridaybutton.jpg" height="120" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-23487730684756449492014-07-24T20:44:00.005-05:002014-07-26T17:50:27.671-05:00Something New <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have not done one of Mama Kat's writing workshops in a long time. I figured this week was a perfect time to get back involved with the writing workshop, with my goal to write more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I chose:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: inherit; font-size: large; line-height: 22.5px;">3.) Something new.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #606060; line-height: 22.5px;">I have the perfect inspiration to write a post about something new. This post connects back to another writing workshop assignment. It happened last September: </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: inherit; font-size: large; line-height: 22.5px;"><a href="http://suziesnewnormal.blogspot.com/2013/09/remodeling-ideas.html" target="_blank">Remodeling Ideas</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I wrote about how I wanted to redo our bedroom in a yellow and gray theme. I finally began to do that this summer. For my birthday, I bought a beautiful quilt (similar to the original mentioned in the above post: </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2XmP41HbNfFvQUYiRrrMfrIF9DCRz3koeS-5x0edDzUEZYn88cv3aLao0ghlVML0spkk8PtY_sxJqohP7Yk-3_ToN9q1afCkq1E1TJSndaHoh-kpMcyXPBRiVec0nMgbVmZvfMu9KvtfC/s1600/2014-07-24+20.30.06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2XmP41HbNfFvQUYiRrrMfrIF9DCRz3koeS-5x0edDzUEZYn88cv3aLao0ghlVML0spkk8PtY_sxJqohP7Yk-3_ToN9q1afCkq1E1TJSndaHoh-kpMcyXPBRiVec0nMgbVmZvfMu9KvtfC/s1600/2014-07-24+20.30.06.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It is reversible. That means if I ever want that fun chevron instead of floral, it is easy to make it happen! I love it. It makes me smile every time I see it. However, it still doesn't make me want to make my bed each day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The only other thing I have done so far is to wrap my yarn letters in a gray shade, instead of the old teal yarn they were wrapped in: </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOpWl7-gukEp4EzDXeX5dkqrl4188qeoFkVBhAv34EIp5eY0tWqw0cbyZqBhgijH_ZxdpbaQiXFwk3iLsFFkXeSc3i3v6kROp4jviaU94WdAJAwZPzUPRxs3tySv09rvRjd3A2mwOXZkAn/s1600/2014-07-24+20.30.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOpWl7-gukEp4EzDXeX5dkqrl4188qeoFkVBhAv34EIp5eY0tWqw0cbyZqBhgijH_ZxdpbaQiXFwk3iLsFFkXeSc3i3v6kROp4jviaU94WdAJAwZPzUPRxs3tySv09rvRjd3A2mwOXZkAn/s1600/2014-07-24+20.30.24.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I really love how these turned out as well! I will slowly change the whole room, and attached bathroom into the yellow and gray theme. I look forward to finding new things to put in there. </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;" target="_blank"><img alt="Mama’s Losin’ It" src="http://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac331/mamakatslosinit/workshop-button-1.png" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-78785262177477378592014-07-15T20:14:00.001-05:002014-07-26T17:50:41.703-05:00I am not my grief. <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Still Standing Magazine recently posted a link up. It is one that I can fully get behind. The link up involves an exercise for us all to realize we are not our grief. Also, it is to help people within the pregnancy/infant loss community to learn more about each other, grief aside. I really liked this idea, and decided to jump in and participate! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">If you would like to see the explanation of the challenge you can find it here: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">http://stillstandingmag.com/2014/07/10-things-grief-aside-link/</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I will post ten questions that were asked on the above page, and answer them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">1. <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;">What are you reading right now?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am in a book club. The book I'm reading currently is for said book club. It is titled "And She Was" by Alison Gaylin. I am approximately 60% (avid kindle reader here) through the book and really hooked! It is a mystery. The main character has a unique disorder that gives her very detailed basically photographic memory. She is trying to solve a case that turns out to be connected to a case that is very close and personal to her! I can't wait to see how this one ends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">2. <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;">Sweet or Savoury?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sweet. Always sweet. My sweet tooth is my demise. I enjoy anything that is sweet involved and have issues following correct portions on those items! I have recently been trying to take a stand against them and have been doing pretty well. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">3. What is your favorite color?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Teal is my favorite color. I really began to like it a few years back and used it as an accent color in our wedding. Yellow has been rising in the ranks lately though. I like yellow particularly when paired up with gray. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">4. What is your favourite food?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is a hard one, because I love to cook and eat! I would have to say pizza. If it were "appropriate" for an adult to eat pizza daily, I would be that adult. I think because you can get variety, so it is the same thing but with a different taste. I heard about a guy who ate pizza for every meal every day for over a year. He spoke about how difficult it was to find someone to date him. He didn't find me soon enough! Probably a good thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">5. <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;">Where were you born and where do you live?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I was born in the small town of Maryville, IL and have only moved a few miles away since. I lived in Maryville until just two years ago. I love this area, because it is so close to St. Louis. It is the best of both worlds. I don't have to deal with the hassle of a city daily, but it is right there when I want to do something. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;">6. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;">If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">Are we saying anyone? Can it be a person from the past? This is going to seem weird. I would have dinner with Abraham Lincoln. I have an odd fascination with him. I even got engaged directly in front of his Springfield, IL home. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">7. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;">Any bad habits?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 26px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I think anyone who says they don't have bad habits is lying. It is human nature to have at least one or two bad habits. I would say one of my bad habits is to leave lights/electronics/appliances on. That is probably one of the things Mike has to remind the most. Whether it is the light, tv, oven, etc. I just get distracted and go on with my day. Don't worry. After nearly four years together and over two years married, Mike knows to check the stove shortly after dinner. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">8. What have you been procrastinating on?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Finishing a book I started a few months ago. We read The Stand (newer uncut version) by Stephen King for book club. Well, they read it. I got half way through and then actually skipped a meeting because I do want to finish it. I have just struggled to pick it back up (click on it) and get back to reading. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">9. What is a strange fact about you?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have to have all doors closed in the room I'm sleeping in to be able to sleep. My grandma told me I have always been like this. I don't know what started it. I have no terrifying or traumatizing memory to go along with this need. Every door, even closet doors, have to be closed or I can't sleep. For the same reason, you will never find my sleeping on my couch (unless I fall asleep while sick for a nap). It is open concept to the kitchen and dining room, so I can't "close off" the room. I also only nap when I'm sick. I don't know why, but I can't fall asleep during the day otherwise.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">10. Hobbies?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Crafting, cooking, and reading. I absolutely love finding a new craft or recipe to try. The problem is I will find a recipe we really enjoy, but then move on to a ton of different new recipes and forget about the one we liked. I'm trying to get better at adding things into my actual paper recipe book when we really like it. Easier than flipping through tons of bookmarks on my laptop or pins on pinterest. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I hope you have enjoyed a little look at me, grief aside. If you have ever wondered something about me, and I didn't approach it here, ask me in the comments! I am not my grief. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-36283015209491558142014-06-01T19:24:00.000-05:002014-06-01T19:28:34.894-05:00Answers<span style="font-size: large;">I haven't written in a while, again. I feel like I've said that every time I write lately. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It has been a exhausting month (or so) full of doctors and blood tests. Searching for answers. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">While all of this has been overwhelming, it is also comforting. Listening to the results was overwhelming and sharing them with family was even more so. It took me a while to work up to writing this post to share with all of our friends. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Noonan Syndrome. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Two simple words. All of the answers possibly wrapped up in two simple words. The genetic specialist believes Connor had Noonan Syndrome. This would not necessarily be a fatal diagnosis. Why was it for Connor? We will never know. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If you decide to Google Noonan Syndrome, please look at support websites. They are the kindest way to find out information. You will see pictures of happy healthy kids and adults. Noonan Syndrome effects learning, heart and blood function, appearance, and other things. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We will never know 100% if Connor for sure had Noonan Syndrome. It is impossible to give a 100% diagnosis, since he isn't here to run more tests. However, pretty much everything in his autopsy adds up with Noonan Syndrome. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't feel like this blog, which I have used to document my grief, would ever be truly complete without including these results. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">They ran extensive tests on me, and nothing alarming was found. This is good news. This means that Connor's disorder was most certainly a "sporadic mutation". While that sounds like a bad thing, it just means that it wasn't in our genes. This mean that there is pretty much no chance of it happening again. This gives some comfort moving forward. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_h5KpEWthz_i5NeDshdOV24Q0tcHmjbF-XoolNG8X94OGFSJwOJJW3tNnNuO7CBWYO7M-s2AEwx-GXNF0c3NwVzrqN0f3Yvc5oW4EUt7SlB3oAXBkKA2prlXfHm6PWemQs-fFEA-Qdyd/s1600/2014-05-12+09.26.44.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_h5KpEWthz_i5NeDshdOV24Q0tcHmjbF-XoolNG8X94OGFSJwOJJW3tNnNuO7CBWYO7M-s2AEwx-GXNF0c3NwVzrqN0f3Yvc5oW4EUt7SlB3oAXBkKA2prlXfHm6PWemQs-fFEA-Qdyd/s1600/2014-05-12+09.26.44.jpg" height="400" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-63550201708021742792014-04-21T11:16:00.000-05:002014-04-21T11:16:26.184-05:00Lessons of Grief <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I know I have been quiet lately. I have opened my blog many times to write out a new post. I just haven't had it in me. I have been having a hard time lately, and am willing to admit it. I am working through some new struggles. Writing does help me, but it can also be very tiring. It is hard to be honest with myself and others. Even more so to put it all in print for people to read and scrutinize. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I finished my Grief Share course last week. I feel like it has helped and would recommend it to anyone who asked. Some of the last sessions were dedicated to "20 lessons of grief". These helped me to reflect upon what my grief has "taught" me. I may not have 20, but I do have some lessons I think are worth mentioning. However, today I want to share with you some things that my grief has taught me:</span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Time does not heal all wounds. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am not saying that wounds don't get healed. I just do not like this saying at all. It takes hard work to heal those emotional wounds. Saying that time takes care of them is taking away the credit for the work and effort you have put into healing. It is okay to admit that you have struggled and worked through a lot of stuff since your loss! Trust me you have worked hard, and you deserve the credit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Grief is not a straight line of healing. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have mentioned this before, but I want to reiterate the idea of circular grief. You can't move past one stage and expect to never see it again. Bad days pop up, no matter how many good days are between them. I am a little over a year out from when I started this journey. I already have way more good days than I did a year ago. However, that doesn't mean I don't have bad days, or even bad weekends/weeks. It isn't a set back. It is just how grief works. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Some friends will distance themselves. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is just a natural part of grief. I have accepted it and moved on. I don't have hard feelings against anyone who felt like they couldn't handle my grief. I will freely say that I am a lot to handle some days. I have had some people who used to be my closest friends who I haven't spoken to in months now. I can't be the friend they once remembered right now. Maybe we will reconnect someday. Maybe I will never talk to those people again. People split ways for more than just grief. It is just a fact of life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Some friends will embrace you in ways they never have before. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I was surprised at some of the people who became closer to me through my grief. These were people I probably considered acquaintances before, but they embraced our friendship in a whole new way. I will be forever grateful to these people. The people who weren't afraid of my bad days. The people who still bring up Connor without fear or discomfort. The people who will listen to my rants or whining. Although none of these items seem like big things, they are huge. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The child loss community exists and is strong. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have met so many fantastic people through the child loss community. I have met these people both online and in person. I would have never known some of my closest friends had we not lost Connor. The running joke is of course that we wish we didn't know each other. While we have a deep connection, any of us would trade these friendships to have our children here with us. It is kind of odd the type of connection that is instantly felt in this community. Although, it may sound cheesy it is real and intense. I have a few friends who I can text my most guarded thoughts to and they won't blink an eye. They will instantly reply "I have been there and understand." </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It is a struggle to not get bitter. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">An every day, very real, struggle. Go take a peek through your Facebook feed. Consciously notice how many photos of children enjoying Easter were posted yesterday. I posted some of my stepson even. However, during all of that, I kept thinking how I should have been helping an eleven month old toddle around and find eggs. His absence was very real to me. I could feel him missing. It was hard not to get bitter looking at all the pictures of people getting to enjoy their Easter with their little one(s). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The struggle to not be bitter in grief is real and daily. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I will be okay. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">No matter what this wild ride of grief has thrown at me, it has taught me one main lesson. I will be okay. I have survived one of the worst things that could have happened and came out the other side of it. I won't just limp by either. I am healing in leaps and bounds. I know I will be okay, because already my good days way outweigh the bad days. Already, I can think about Connor and not instantly feel a deep dread in my heart and soul. I will be okay, because there really isn't any other option. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">These are some of the lessons that my grief has taught me. I'm sure if you asked twenty people who are grieving for their list there would be twenty unique lists. My list could be very different years, or months, from now. This is my list today. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-54479008595142112362014-03-29T12:03:00.000-05:002014-03-29T12:03:11.136-05:00The Question(s)<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I've been wanting to write about this for a while. I feel like now is the time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I hear you in the grocery store, or at a family function. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I see your comments, and questions, on Facebook. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sometimes to family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sometimes to coworkers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sometimes to near strangers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It, honestly, is not your business. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Not only is it not your business, it can be hurtful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">However, you think it is a cute and funny question.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I'm talking about a few forms of the same question: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">When are you going to start your family? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Are you pregnant? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Are you trying for a baby (or trying again)? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">When are you going to start your family? </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is usually posed to that young, married, couple. Maybe to others, but usually it starts right after the wedding. When? When will you have kids? You for sure can't feel like life is complete, without trying for a baby. Start right away. It just isn't any of your business. If one, or both, of those people want you to know their plans, they will tell you. If they bring it up, sure talk about it. Don't bombard though. Don't randomly assume you are entitled to this information. It is a personal decision. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Also, every family looks different. A couple may not be able to have children, or may make the choice not to have children. That doesn't mean they don't have a "family." Asking this question implies that you don't believe they have a family, until there is a baby involved. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Are you pregnant? </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is for pretty much any young adult female. I don't ever post on Facebook about feeling sick anymore. I don't post it on Facebook, because it is 100% guaranteed, that no matter what symptoms I post, someone will respond with "Are you pregnant?!" Nope. No, I'm not pregnant, just because I'm sick. There are lots of germs that go around, that don't include pregnancy at all. This should not be an okay, common response to pretty much anything a female says or posts. However, it is a common response. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"I'm not feeling good." </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Are you pregnant?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"I'm craving XYZ."</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Are you pregnant?"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"I'm tired."</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Are you pregnant?" </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Maybe it is wishful thinking. Maybe you think you are funny. Stop. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I cringe when I see these responses on Facebook, or hear them in public. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Even if the person is pregnant, if they haven't told you, they obviously don't want you to know. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Are you trying for a baby (or trying again)? </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is very similar to "When are you going to start a family?". So, apply all those notes here. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">However, let's add a little more. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">After we lost Connor, it was as if all of our personal information should be public. I can't tell you how many times I was asked, even within weeks of Connor's death, "Are you going to try again?". </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I was surprised for a while. Then, it just became second nature to be asked this. Everyone felt that this was their news to know. Everyone got the same answer. A smile, along with "maybe someday." That is still the answer I give, because I'm still asked this regularly. Although now, it has transformed into when will you, not are you going to, try again. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My point of this whole post is to say, you don't know what a couple is going through. Allow them to bring up any of this information, if they want to talk about it. If they don't bring it up, guess what? It isn't your business. It seems harsh, but it's true. Just because you want to know, doesn't mean you deserve to know. It is private information, and you don't know what kind of hurt it can cause. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The thing is, people who are struggling with infertility don't usually wear t-shirts announcing it. The constant questioning only makes it worse. We need to work as a society, really I think it is this important, to make it less common to ask these questions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I will step off my soap box now. I'm sure that most people will read this, and assume I'm just overly sensitive about it. Trust me, I have talked to a lot of people, before writing this post. I have contemplated how to write it many times. This was not a whim. This was not a personal thought, that I've never shared with others, or me just having a bad day. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is something that has happened to me, and around me, multiple times a week. </span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-72349889153081327812014-03-09T11:42:00.002-05:002014-03-09T11:42:24.385-05:00My New Normal <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJSx0UhoNA_a97unOx7Z-zF5eKpncsVPuR-qEd1uVkB9Vs_khN2AZuLVqxyABzutQsr4p_nt4TUrkd5Zo5gIRCiHxL-LrDla6SzqvqgD19yJUE_Yq2jmESaUNpsSy3lHWDpiQ8CttQS4/s320/normal-is-an-illusion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJSx0UhoNA_a97unOx7Z-zF5eKpncsVPuR-qEd1uVkB9Vs_khN2AZuLVqxyABzutQsr4p_nt4TUrkd5Zo5gIRCiHxL-LrDla6SzqvqgD19yJUE_Yq2jmESaUNpsSy3lHWDpiQ8CttQS4/s320/normal-is-an-illusion.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have changed the name of my blog. You have probably already realized that. All of my stories and posts are still here. You can still click the button to the right, to read Connor's story. The reason I started writing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I just never really liked the blog name "Live, Laugh, Read". I had to name the blog, to be able to start writing. I had no clue what I wanted to name it at the time. I just wanted to write. I threw something in the text box. I thought "Who cares? I will mostly be writing to myself anyway." Turns out, I cared. Every time I wrote a post, there was that blog title staring at me. I had to fix it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">After you lose someone. Anyone. Anything you read will make mention of the "new normal". This is the reality that you have to go on, even though something drastic has happened. You may feel a part of you missing every single second, but you have to function. You have to live. It isn't even conscious anymore. I just feel Connor missing at all times. Not actively. The feeling is just there. It is hard to explain, unless you've been there. If you haven't been there, I don't want you to ever be familiar with this feeling. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I don't know if I was ever really "normal." I don't know that anyone would have called me that, if they were made to describe me in one word. However, I was my normal. As the quote above indicates, each person has their own normal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Now I believe, each person has multiple "normals" they will settle into throughout their lives. Each time a new normal appears, through life, death, or a big life event, it is completely unsettling. At first, you don't feel like you will ever be "you" again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I promise. There is a new normal around the bend, no matter what has unsettled your "old" normal. It seems inconceivable, but it just happens. There isn't even a need to actively seek it. As life continues, because it always does, the new normal settles in around you, just like a new pair of jeans maybe. It isn't quite comfortable in the beginning, but starts to wear better after a bit. Using the same analogy, there are definitely times when that discomfort sneaks back in and things don't feel right again for a bit. Don't worry. It takes time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I really like the new title of my blog. I am not completely settled into my new normal. I'm still trying to break it in. However, I know it is here, creeping around me. Slowly, I am pushing through the old into the new. I can't promise that the sadness will ever completely go away. I just know the "bad" days are already fewer and further between. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Join me, as I keep settling into "My New Normal." </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-35982619635643141242014-03-08T16:41:00.000-06:002014-03-08T16:42:35.099-06:00Connor's Birthday<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I put up a short post yesterday. It included a picture from yesterday. I wanted to share a little more about our day. I can't believe a year has passed already. It went unbelievably quick. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My mom and I spent the first part of the day together. We went to lunch, then we picked out some special balloons for the Angel of Hope. We got five balloons; red, orange, yellow, blue, and green. When we got to the Angel of Hope, I told my mom I wasn't going to release them. I wanted to just leave them at his brick. Right as I walked up to Connor's brick the red balloon untied somehow, and blew away. I joked with my mom that I guess Connor wanted that balloon. I said we can just leave the rest. Then, the orange one popped. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">At this point, I said I think he is saying he wants the stinking balloons, so we released them. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOPYmsScLwSi7792Pj1TAF5G8-VMFeYszXTWOOqdL9FoxE-ZyHG-5ju_yuPplxVhOpaqeZScGOAec8We5ffpGK2xhogWXZDs93ojyXGKsvaS-pLTGf51jyuIL6JOxtZKDr-iYCEBG_5oF0/s1600/2014-03-07+13.37.33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOPYmsScLwSi7792Pj1TAF5G8-VMFeYszXTWOOqdL9FoxE-ZyHG-5ju_yuPplxVhOpaqeZScGOAec8We5ffpGK2xhogWXZDs93ojyXGKsvaS-pLTGf51jyuIL6JOxtZKDr-iYCEBG_5oF0/s1600/2014-03-07+13.37.33.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">When we got there, someone had been there before us. They left Connor some items, and us a very nice card with a beautiful poem. I wish I knew who left it, but they did so anonymously. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZoODjxXuz1VwjXlr5lxJF5NiCQVs-XroarBlf-_ySbXQgwwAzyNWpX2SiqtS7SUTXQkGsbh9wcaewxTOcYT-pI6pQ0-FYgMjJrUWithINVHF7d5bNbomnp_RP8PbcNxHa8_N0yX35-CT2/s1600/2014-03-08+16.24.30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZoODjxXuz1VwjXlr5lxJF5NiCQVs-XroarBlf-_ySbXQgwwAzyNWpX2SiqtS7SUTXQkGsbh9wcaewxTOcYT-pI6pQ0-FYgMjJrUWithINVHF7d5bNbomnp_RP8PbcNxHa8_N0yX35-CT2/s1600/2014-03-08+16.24.30.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It was so kind of them. I wish I knew who did it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is my favorite picture I took throughout the day: </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizanjb7AwvImO94SIiEjNOUyffvCev18GgwNTVFIJhorRCpX9jjR8gIfHzAb_EKpzsk41hCwPhGBsfFZfT2xlVHNKonYhQU0Wf5ojYFMs66XJsSidrDJZxq1drt8GNbcRSXNztTfTZlc-C/s1600/2014-03-07+13.27.52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizanjb7AwvImO94SIiEjNOUyffvCev18GgwNTVFIJhorRCpX9jjR8gIfHzAb_EKpzsk41hCwPhGBsfFZfT2xlVHNKonYhQU0Wf5ojYFMs66XJsSidrDJZxq1drt8GNbcRSXNztTfTZlc-C/s1600/2014-03-07+13.27.52.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The Angel of Hope is holding Connor's urn, while his teddy bear rests below. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The box the teddy bear is holding is an adorable balloon weight my mom bought. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We plan to keep it and use it again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Additional fact from the day: My mom wanted copies of these pictures. We stopped at Walgreens to get them printed. Walgreens could not get them to print, because they kept getting a random red border. They said they had not seen this before. I think, maybe, Connor's favorite color is red. (the balloon and border were red)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Mike and I went out of town for the night, after he got off work. We spent the night at the Pere Marquette Lodge. It is a beautiful place. We got the same room we had last year for our wedding anniversary, with a view of the Illinois river. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We were able to reflect together. To honor and remember Connor we shared some cake, and filled out a journal that an organization sent us. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzeqKYij3k1taBKS26PS4bZFsz9nzh7XoQKK2je92SC6CvaTQQcnYqpZ6eUDpXXGz-Mx_oz84D9GfQrjTWVgtUYOzyqs_DdxUGh7TYi2-4RkBxQgnwGZfLz1dpG8GjUtgQ58ibmxnlF1x4/s1600/2014-03-07+17.38.28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzeqKYij3k1taBKS26PS4bZFsz9nzh7XoQKK2je92SC6CvaTQQcnYqpZ6eUDpXXGz-Mx_oz84D9GfQrjTWVgtUYOzyqs_DdxUGh7TYi2-4RkBxQgnwGZfLz1dpG8GjUtgQ58ibmxnlF1x4/s1600/2014-03-07+17.38.28.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We also did a lot of relaxing. We enjoyed the hot tub, pool, and sauna. We shared a bottle of wine, while just relaxing in the room together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We needed this: </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9W5BQO6GFVKNsyGJ4478iPfPiR_AC9TCLgM-uweK6AdYI5kIVKu7NxYtEijEBVHeTpg3AthNXeXkeUKNLREeK9SgG_QmDHu0ChF7j0PNhH0nczWD61tLSRoOPB4VNUqWC4cPsysnEQPHE/s1600/2014-03-07+18.10.56.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9W5BQO6GFVKNsyGJ4478iPfPiR_AC9TCLgM-uweK6AdYI5kIVKu7NxYtEijEBVHeTpg3AthNXeXkeUKNLREeK9SgG_QmDHu0ChF7j0PNhH0nczWD61tLSRoOPB4VNUqWC4cPsysnEQPHE/s1600/2014-03-07+18.10.56.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I stressed out a lot trying to pick the right thing for us on Connor's birthday. People do a variety of things to remember their lost loved ones. I think this was perfect for us. I believe it would have stressed me out more trying to plan a gathering. We also needed the time together just to be alone, reflect, and relax. </span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-7755677328873400272014-03-07T15:47:00.001-06:002014-03-07T15:47:48.244-06:00One Year<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaNcPL5EAov2yEYKgYucaWgghIr0MzXt2t4mm1AtUP-R-V6lZ6hoxLfYmc7E-6W-jv6HaKSqb1GSDMnCvseFuVwYp9M9ZGrygKN0XwDYnGXYo-iiDkngOjl4nFDATokCnxrDOvn99J5Ek4/s640/blogger-image-242233700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaNcPL5EAov2yEYKgYucaWgghIr0MzXt2t4mm1AtUP-R-V6lZ6hoxLfYmc7E-6W-jv6HaKSqb1GSDMnCvseFuVwYp9M9ZGrygKN0XwDYnGXYo-iiDkngOjl4nFDATokCnxrDOvn99J5Ek4/s640/blogger-image-242233700.jpg"></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-63166073293929506982014-03-02T11:47:00.001-06:002014-03-08T17:41:13.996-06:00Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6espNk0uBQE9Mnu69I-C3ARBQOQzDwAUFZB1rsBkDIhQHp2FF8p1kCJ4GpGoJ-ufYbheRl73o9WMh2617iK8brr3N6NqFr4mnSaltf_NPAP5M1S6jZ-7QAaIN4qtdPrfj0W6C1n3DA9W1/s640/blogger-image-121885556.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6espNk0uBQE9Mnu69I-C3ARBQOQzDwAUFZB1rsBkDIhQHp2FF8p1kCJ4GpGoJ-ufYbheRl73o9WMh2617iK8brr3N6NqFr4mnSaltf_NPAP5M1S6jZ-7QAaIN4qtdPrfj0W6C1n3DA9W1/s640/blogger-image-121885556.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I was rereading the cards we received last March after losing Connor. This was a suggestion made in my Grief Share class. I decided to do it, because I realized I couldn't even remember who had sent a card at this point. We received so many, which was very nice, but I was beyond cherishing cards at that point. I wanted to reread all of those kind messages written to us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">While looking through the cards, I found this bookmark tucking/attached inside of one. It is a perfect message for this coming week. I don't know why I didn't tear it out last year. Maybe, it was meant to be there for me to find this year. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sometimes, you find just what you need, right when you need it. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-89667542162886454312014-02-22T11:16:00.001-06:002014-02-22T11:22:07.490-06:00Smiles <span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14.666666984558105px; line-height: 21.994001388549805px;">5.) Something that made you smile this week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Two weeks ago, I was starting to get very anxious. I could feel my chest tighten, when I thought about the fact that Connor's birthday was approaching quickly. I couldn't stop it from arriving, or even make it slow down. Tears would gather at the uncertainty of what this month would bring, leading up to the day. The anniversary of the worst thing I have ever been through. However, that day is also now the birthday of my first born, even if he is not with me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I didn't want the day to be awful. I didn't want to be anxious this whole month leading up to the day. I want to celebrate Connor. I want to honor the fact that he existed, not mourn the loss of him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We came up with the idea of asking family and friends to complete an act of kindness. The idea was that kindness and goodness would be spread, because Connor existed. The world would be a better place, even if he couldn't have an "active" role in making that happen. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I didn't know two weeks ago, when I first asked for this favor, how many smiles this would bring to my face. How many people would instantly embrace the idea. There have been many kind words, and kind acts. My heart has swelled. Messages have come in from not only multiple states, but multiple countries. How amazing is that? Goodness is being spread around the world, because of Connor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is kind of a half way check in. A "we're half way there, thank you so much for all you have done already." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Multiple people have been fed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Families who were struggling, have been gifted with things they need.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Carts that would normally go astray, put in their place for others.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Money donated to multiple charities. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Did you know that it is incredibly hard to gather the items for home baked cookies in Abu Dhabi? I didn't, but now multiple workers have enjoyed home baked cookies, because of a friend. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was featured as a writing topic, by one of my favorite bloggers: </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbtnihAgORs4ulMqwqlU90TGS6CHNwArZeKBjDRgVy9xuzavBtpgYvuR89TUCN3daq8HzLsuLZTPGCgtzTKBz5pWWBWkzIyuIOoIr06AD4eRGZBlyNC7ohAlwZnKAEY0TO4ZFINkSt1l7w/s1600/1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbtnihAgORs4ulMqwqlU90TGS6CHNwArZeKBjDRgVy9xuzavBtpgYvuR89TUCN3daq8HzLsuLZTPGCgtzTKBz5pWWBWkzIyuIOoIr06AD4eRGZBlyNC7ohAlwZnKAEY0TO4ZFINkSt1l7w/s1600/1.JPG" height="320" width="276" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/blog/" target="_blank">Mama's Losin' it!</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">That led to Connor's story being spread even further, and blog posts and comments filled with kindness: </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/2014/02/writers-workshop-random-act/" target="_blank">Mama's Losin' It! </a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://biggreenpen.com/2014/02/19/i-enlisted-in-connorscrew-a-mama-kat-writing-prompt/" target="_blank">Perspicacity</a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://becomingblameless.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-random-act-of-kindness-to-honor.html#more" target="_blank">Becoming Blameless</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is not a complete, detailed, list. I truly have gotten at least one message a day. I appreciate every single deed that has been done, and the kind words/messages sent to our family. I have felt so uplifted in support and love. I have found over the past two weeks, I can't help but smile when I think of Connor. I think of all the good being spread. I am not unsure of how these next two weeks, and March 7, will go. I know that we will celebrate that Connor existed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Thank you, again, to every single person who has supported us these past few weeks and this past year. Whether it was a kind word, text message, Facebook message, an act of kindness, or a silent prayer that I didn't hear. It is all sincerely appreciated.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img alt="Mama’s Losin’ It" src="http://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac331/mamakatslosinit/workshop-button-1.png" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-48411688485271962712014-02-13T08:00:00.000-06:002014-02-13T08:00:00.160-06:00LOVE <span style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; line-height: 22.5px;"><span style="font-size: large;">2.) A blog post inspired by the word: love</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">This week, I want to show you an item I received in the mail recently. I think it is appropriately inspired by the word love, because:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">It was made with love.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">It was ordered because of love.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">It has been worn with love. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">I love it, and the organization that created it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Held Your Whole Life. It is a simple phrase. It is correct in it's literal form, Connor was held his whole life, but means so much more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">Please. Visit their website: <a href="http://heldyourwholelife.com/" target="_blank">www.heldyourwholelife.com</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">They have so much helpful information there. You can also request a necklace, if you have suffered a loss. If you just love the idea of it, you can sponsor a necklace for others. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;">This is a quote from their homepage: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141701; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, Times, serif; text-align: justify;">We exist to give recognition to the babies born in silence when the world wants to say they were not babies since they did not breathe air. We hope that by gifting a keepsake necklace with your beautiful baby's name on it, you will know that your child counted.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141701; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, Times, serif; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.5px;"> </span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Isn't that lovely? I think so. Allow me to show you all that I received in the mail this past weekend. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjPUF3SUcQFeGarQ1ERWvqM8WI8F0vgt1DpfAFBzViIdtZyJSy2DgKiMxlN7iqF9TzD03L6EK3KsugiO0OWuY92p13eHRga-ZOUgfV7kB9geJHWXzPw7a9dCKtnbjUSyzQKN1EEc1WiYfh/s1600/IMG_1772.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjPUF3SUcQFeGarQ1ERWvqM8WI8F0vgt1DpfAFBzViIdtZyJSy2DgKiMxlN7iqF9TzD03L6EK3KsugiO0OWuY92p13eHRga-ZOUgfV7kB9geJHWXzPw7a9dCKtnbjUSyzQKN1EEc1WiYfh/s1600/IMG_1772.JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Can you see why this works with the word love? How precious is this necklace? It is perfect in every way. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE_jAXOVRVnitb0GQyvbnicVf4Mr-ywVvvU8KLHMx1KeT0pRfldyv-HBMvde-uoD7Ly0OXDrJS_KCnriG8c3Vb1869TU0TaU1MfTt6jOhq6-sUVJW9GOvWjAy1C9xzPCs3-fATLivTDJSu/s1600/IMG_1774.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE_jAXOVRVnitb0GQyvbnicVf4Mr-ywVvvU8KLHMx1KeT0pRfldyv-HBMvde-uoD7Ly0OXDrJS_KCnriG8c3Vb1869TU0TaU1MfTt6jOhq6-sUVJW9GOvWjAy1C9xzPCs3-fATLivTDJSu/s1600/IMG_1774.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is the cute box it was packaged in, along with their business card.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAFVNJ9giocLwTt5dWOAY8ms6hHOJX9Kj7JxLCiINWyJTPrYXcoHTpdk-lF0B1wHR_AJ7zaT1ko-t8tDW_q5X4v_WfLozM5q-P6ynNw3-B1k3e5cUQRPYuaEV7JJCgLxpcoUlPXWUXD2o/s1600/IMG_1775.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAFVNJ9giocLwTt5dWOAY8ms6hHOJX9Kj7JxLCiINWyJTPrYXcoHTpdk-lF0B1wHR_AJ7zaT1ko-t8tDW_q5X4v_WfLozM5q-P6ynNw3-B1k3e5cUQRPYuaEV7JJCgLxpcoUlPXWUXD2o/s1600/IMG_1775.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Remember how I said you could sponsor a necklace? Mine was sponsored, in honor of Maelynn Kay. I send many hugs and prayers to you Maelynn, and your family. Thank you for this special necklace.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4hSbQZrdcA5O6ulRP-b1r_JcsdM5wmB5lCITovWUSUyuqdPM2_2au5tkvTdgta-ik1pPVHjzTjCyXK95IkZIPz-38Gwp8f356t-lHcujpQ4RntYpazs-LrpTbj29y6xVp3DwayGLauWD/s1600/IMG_1776.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4hSbQZrdcA5O6ulRP-b1r_JcsdM5wmB5lCITovWUSUyuqdPM2_2au5tkvTdgta-ik1pPVHjzTjCyXK95IkZIPz-38Gwp8f356t-lHcujpQ4RntYpazs-LrpTbj29y6xVp3DwayGLauWD/s1600/IMG_1776.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I also received this postcard with support information on the back. On the front, is this beautiful artwork. I thought I would share it. I've seen, and enjoyed this work before. You can find more of it here: <a href="http://beyondwordsdesigns.com/" target="_blank">www.beyondwordsdesigns.com/</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Thank you Held Your Whole Life, for all that you do.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img alt="Mama’s Losin’ It" src="http://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac331/mamakatslosinit/workshop-button-1.png" /></span></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-76446570845638971922014-02-09T08:00:00.000-06:002014-02-09T08:00:02.143-06:00Pinterest Philosopher<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">In connection to yesterday's post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The promises of acts of kindness have been overwhelming. Goodness will be spread near and far, in honor of Connor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My heart has been efficiently warmed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Thank you</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108430847546693357.post-53612664480009866532014-02-08T11:32:00.000-06:002014-02-08T11:32:24.017-06:00Random Acts of Kindness - for Connor <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We are just under a month away, from Connor's first birthday. I choose to call it his birthday, rather than other terms used. I want to celebrate that he existed, not focus on him being gone. Mike and I have been thinking hard about what we want to do to honor Connor's first birthday. We will be planning something for the actual day, March 7. However, we have a request for all of our family and friends during the month leading up to his birthday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We would love it if you could find time to complete a random act of kindness, in honor of Connor. This doesn't have to be huge, or cost anything. We just want goodness to be spread, in his honor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It would be great if you could share your act with us. We have thought of multiple ways, for you to share: </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">- Share a post on Facebook, using #connorscrew </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Post on one of our Facebook pages, or tag us in a status</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Comment on this blog post </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Private message us </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Use the "contact me" form on this blog</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Text or call us </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- If you prefer, keep it a secret, we understand that some may feel weird about sharing a random act of kindness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One of the big reasons I'm asking the acts to be shared is that I would love to compile them in some way and print them out. I can then put them in Connor's memory box. Feel free, to share any images I have posted related to Connor or to share the link to his story, if you would like, with your act of kindness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you so much, in advance, for helping us spread goodness in Connor's name. We have been so fortunate to have each and every one of you and your support over the past year. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk0PBz1TjBD9WqYAdbBFpbbGdT5FblzS_jtYW3Sa20S-BbvPNeu3SNFJQNVC56dAeu6QUQAlHfVZ06458DWKdb5_aTufvrVF8ZFDDjDMFzWgqLMTijXbusRcs1It1Tnp-F2L_sAUsoPMLI/s1600/connor+moore+5x7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk0PBz1TjBD9WqYAdbBFpbbGdT5FblzS_jtYW3Sa20S-BbvPNeu3SNFJQNVC56dAeu6QUQAlHfVZ06458DWKdb5_aTufvrVF8ZFDDjDMFzWgqLMTijXbusRcs1It1Tnp-F2L_sAUsoPMLI/s1600/connor+moore+5x7.jpg" height="285" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2