Day 30: Growth

Do you believe you have grown or are growing as a person since the loss of your precious baby? 

• Absolutely! 

How?

• In tons of ways. It is cliche, but I do feel like I now have a "new" normal. Not necessarily good or bad new, just new. I don't know that I can pinpoint exact reasons or ways. I just feel like a completely different person. 

How do you see other people now? 

• I don't really see them differently. I guess I can kind of "laugh off" more things people say, and not be bothered by them. I realize that I don't have to spend time with someone. I am of course still civil, but I don't force myself to talk to people just because I felt it was necessary before. 

How do you see the world?

• Oh goodness. I just feel like I am more relaxed about a lot of things. Things before that may have completely upset me and ruined my day. Now, I realize that they aren't so bad, or that worse can happen than my day being thrown off a bit. I can keep things in perspective better, since losing Connor. 

Do you believe you have a higher purpose? 

• No. I do want to spread Connor's story, and try to help as many people as possible any way I can. I don't want losing him to be just that. I want some good to come from it, if I can't have him.

Do you believe your baby had a higher purpose? 

• No. I know, that is blunt. I don't though. I like all the sayings "too precious for earth, etc." I just don't think that he had some higher purpose. I think he could have done much greater things here on earth.