Day 28: Special Place

Connor was cremated, so there isn't a grave site to visit.

I don't regret this choice at all. We had so many decisions to make, so quickly. Trust me. We weren't in a state of conscious decision making. So, we tried to base all decisions on what we could "fix" later, and not always regret. We took pictures. We don't have to look at those pictures, but they are there if we ever want to see them. We knew if we didn't, we could regret not having them some day. 

We decided to have him cremated. We couldn't face the thought of a service of any sort at that time. I had spent nearly a week in the hospital, and we just needed to decompress. Also, we knew we could still bury him some day, alone or with a loved one. This allows us more time to think about things. 

On Connor's due date, May 17, we made a memorial garden at our house honoring him. While the physical work in itself was healing, this gave us one special place to think about Connor. When the garden was finished, my family gave us a gift. It was the brick pictured above placed at the Angel of Hope statue. 

I loved the idea of it, because of the walk I posted about a few weeks ago. However, the first time we went to visit it, I felt such a connection to the place. I now have a place I can go if I just want to sit and reflect. I know that he physically is not there, but I like to think of it as a special place of remembrance.