Those may seem like really simple words. However, this is one of the most challenges things for me after losing Connor. It would be so easy to allow myself to turn into a constantly angry, bitter, person. Those feelings creep beneath the surface almost every hour of the day.
This has been a personal goal of mine for about a month now. When I have a bitter thought, I stop myself. I change it to something positive. There is no doubt. Losing a baby changes you. However, I have had to realize that it doesn't change everyone around you. So, I have to ignore some things that instantly start putting bitter thoughts into my head.
I feel like consciously working towards being a better, not bitter, person has really helped. It has allowed me to have more "happy" days. I know it is completely okay to grieve and have bad days, but at some point the good need to outweigh the bad. I can't skid backwards into a dark place and stay there forever.
I need to allow Connor to make me a better person, not a bitter person.
October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. I'm participating in the Capture Your Grief project. This project was set up by another blogger. It is a way to travel through grief, with others. I will not stress myself out if I don't get every single day. Some days may only be posted here, others only on Facebook, and some on both media outlets. Read more about it at this website.
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